I Miss It, I Have It.
Writer: Sarah Lindquist
Editor: Izzy Patrizio
Photo taken by: Sarah Lindquist
During the months leading up to highschool graduation, and the start of college, many students search histories are filled with questions like “what to bring to a freshman dorm room” or “cute dorm rooms Pinterest.” Mine however, was filled with questions about nostalgia. I kept asking Google to “tell me how to stop longing for the past” and “what if I never feel as happy as I do now.” I was petrified of my future, not because I wasn’t excited, but because I never wanted to let go of the moments I was experiencing then. The dictionary definition of nostalgia describes it as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.” I was experiencing every part of this. I was longing for a past I had not even left yet, for just one more moment laughing with my best friends in a classroom, or one more car dance party during lunch. I’m sure many of us share this same feeling, but almost one year into college now, I can say that I have changed my perspective on nostalgia, and changed it for the better.
At least for my life, a word I always come back to when thinking about how I can be the best version of myself is balance. As I was reflecting on all of these moments of joy, I realized that what I needed was not to forget them, or move on from them completely, but balance them with all of the new moments I was about to experience too. I was the last one of my hometown friends to leave for college, and as I watched each one of them head off on their newest journey, I was heartbroken by how easy it seemed for them. They all seemed so happy to get to embark on this adventure, while I was stuck hoping that I could turn back the clocks. Once I was able to leave though, I started to be able to see why the pictures they sent were full of nothing but smiles. I met the most amazing people, I got to live in the most amazing city, and I got to begin a new chapter of my life.
Once the terrifying nature of moving to the other side of the country began to wear off, all of the pieces of my nostalgia puzzle began to fall into place. I missed my friends from home, I missed my hometown and the familiarity of it all, but I slowly began to see that this was not a bad thing. How beautiful is it to have people and places that you love so much that you long to have those moments back? This one question allowed me to become so grateful for the fact that I had lived a life full of people I missed, and come to appreciate the new memories I was making too. Life moves fast, and it’s never a bad thing to slow down and have gratitude for where you are right in this very moment.
For anyone grappling with these same feelings, it’s okay to be scared of change. Whether that be starting college, graduating college, getting a job, or even something small like finishing a course you really enjoyed, take a moment and revel in the fact that you just experienced something that will soon become a happy memory.
Love where you are, and love where you’ve been all the same, because that way, you can love whatever the future holds too.
